Falling

KERI NOBLE
Falling

Standing here outside your door
Not sure if you're home
Wondering if I'm a fool
Maybe I should go

Usually I'm fearless
But I've become undone
A clown without even a disguise
Now everyone will know that I've

FallenfallenI've fallen in love
And I can't make sense of it

Don't know how this happened
I can't say for sure
But suddenly I'm incomplete
Sustaining on the hope

If you should see me face to face
If you could hear my heart
You might feel this terrifying something rising up and you've

Fallen fallen you've fallen in love
And you can't make sense of it

Medicines

A week ago, my kid went through some illness and I was forced to rush him to the hospital.
The Bicol Regional Teaching and Training Hospital is well known in our province as a
"public" hospital. 1:15am and without enough money at hand, the BRTTH was a better
decision. And I wasn't expecting a major problem on his situation. Thinking that we would
be out of the hospital in a couple of hours after a check-up, I never expected to stay in
the hospital for a couple of days.

Waiting for 20min at the lobby of the hospital waiting for an attending nurse, my ears
suddently felt hot and lost my patience for the delay in the initial check-up. Then came
the intern, asked a couple of questions. Then recommended a list of medicines to be
secured before we leave for the ER.

Walking double time, i dashed through the dark pavements of the hospital to the pharmacy.
Only to find out that there were limited if not no medicines at all. The paracetamol was
for sure available. But to my shock without a receipt.

Wondering how much the rest of the list would cost me, a 200 meter walk from the pharmacy
to the private pharma outside the hospital made a desperate intent on me to have a smoke
and started analyzing the medical services in the country.

Finally, after 10 min of loops and sweat, I secured everything that was on the list.

And waited for 1.30 hour for a nurse to give the medicine to my son!

Like a delirious father, i wanted to land a foot on the nurse's face for the delay.
To make the situation worse, the constant chorus of the infants in the emergency room
was staggering. I felt that the blind would be lucky to be in my position. He could only
get to here the cries of the children, but not how the look.

To be continued...

Songs

Another busy day.

My boss' sister droped by at the office to
convert some photos to a slideshow and
have the materials in CDs.

She had with her the album of The Philippine
Madrigal Singers "Iyo kailan pa man". It is
a collection of acapella songs. All Filipino
arrangements and compositions. The collection
was from decades of Filipino music masterpieces.

After hurriedly finalizing all the materials,
my boss' sister rush back to their house
to attend to her kid.

While burning the materials, I managed to copy
the two discs of the Madrigal album. This is
a once in a lifetime chance that I could get
to hold these kinds of music.

Playing the tracks, the second to the last song,
"Sana'y wala nang wakas" reminded me of the
years I spent with the Aquinas University Chorale.
One of the pioneering member of the choir,
I get to experience the best things in my life
which I still carry with me.

The cold nights we spent singing our lungs out.
Sometimes we got numb of feeling the rumblings
in our stomach. It's a kind of fulfillment
never measured.

Just listening. The carefull choreography of
sound and voices.

These years are lost now. But the memories
of the friends and the once lovers of the
college life still makes me smile.

My college friends are now on different parts
of the globe. Some are in Manila, on their
different fields and families. But no matter
how far these people are from me, from the
other people who shared the songs we lived
through and sang; in their uncertain moments,
i know, they hum the melodies. Though maybe
they are not aware of it, sometimes they'd
start to think, trying to recall the lyrics,
the tempo. I hope the happy and sad
moments while shivering in the cold night would
also make them smile. And sing.

"Minsan lng kitang iibigin" always made me
shiver. And it did again, listening to the
Madrigal singers. "Ikaw lamang" made me cry.
Never knew that tears were falling down my
cheek. Of the memories, our mentor,
Bro. Popoy. While we sang the last song
when we left the Chorale. These were the
moment that I'd recall to the end of my life.

The moments are gone but the music lives on.
No wonder these were called masterpieces.
The were not sang to be listened to,
but to serve as blissful moment to
recall the time with friends.

Coffee

Wish you knew, but i think you do...
That having a coffee alone
is always spent with you.

The bitter sweet...
is a reality of the bitter sweet.
Of time, so spent. Never forgotten.

Every hot sip is.
Every kiss.
Is every thought.

Mixing with emotions...
Stubborn and weak.
Strongger not better.

Mixing with the smoke...
Like every breath shared with you.
Alone as one on that bitter sweet time.

Coffee is.
Like a sober whisper.
Like a curse in French.
Like a time well spent.

Like a star

Like A Star Corinne Bailey Rae lyrics
- Corinne Bailey Rae


Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands,
Oh.. I do love you,

Still i wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

You've got this look i can't describe,
You make me feel like I'm alive,
When everything else is au fait,
Without a doubt you're on my side,
Heaven has been away too long,
Can't find the words to write this song,
Oh.,..
Your love,

Still i wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

I have come to understand,
The way it is,
It's not a secret anymore,
'cause we've been through that before,
From tonight I know that you're the only one,
I've been confused and in the dark,
Now I understand,

I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
I wonder why it is,
I wont let my guard down,
For anyone but you
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands

Santana

Carlos Santana's All That I Am album is a box of emotions. Simply styled not to please, but to awaken. After his supernatural SUPERNATURAL album, Santana gives us another good reason to lay down, close our eyes, feel the music and the sweet lyrics of his guitar.

The sweet ride. At 100 km/hour, the fastest from chaos to solutions. A smoke per thought.

Crossing

9.15am, on my way to the office... there was this old man, maybe he had an accident once... as the jeep cross the bridge, he'd walk about 50m from the nearest sight of a house, through the cold wall and support where he could hold on to. Just walking, slowly. Inch by inch. He'd do this everyday.

Sometimes I get to catch him resting on the end of the bridge. Never knew what he was thinkin'.

Sometimes I'd see him catching his breath, arms full back at the edge of the store near the corner of the bridge.

Today it was raining hard.

Peanuts and garlic

Yesterday (04.03.2006) , i bought myself a bag of peanuts for the hour ride back home from my work. The "tindero" (the person who owns and sells the peanuts) told me "something" about a girl who just bought a bag of peanuts.

The girl had a mental disorder. Unfortunately, his father raped her. She raised a son, who also turned out to be of the same mental situation as she is. Trying to convince myself that this is just another incestial case in the country, but the way the girl and his son lived their life was really through a lot of struggle.

"If only life and death were as pleasing..."